For many people there comes a time in life when they find themselves alone. It can happen for a variety of reasons-death of a mate or some other ending to a significant partner relationship, when the kids grow up and move out creating the empty nest, the ending of a career and the daily socialization with the “work family”, or friendships that naturally fade as people grow and move in different directions just to name a few. And for many people they are not totally alone but life gets busy and the other people in their lives may not be as accessible as they would like them to be.
It can be hard to be alone if you’re not used to it, especially if someone else has always been your main source of connection or daily companionship but they’re no longer there for whatever reason. It’s hard when you’re forced to change your way of life and the things you have focused on for so long. Change can be hard and there can be painful emotions that go with it on top of trying to figure out how to navigate this new path you’re on. This can be a scary and overwhelming time for most people, and understandably so, but there are ways to ease the transition and a change in perspective can make a big difference.
The first thing you need to do is take the time to mourn, to heal, to care for yourself in whatever way you need to and then when you feel it’s time start taking steps, even if they’re just baby steps, towards the next part of your journey. Look at this as a new beginning in the next chapter of your life. Take it as an opportunity-one you most likely haven’t had before or at least not for a long time-to recalibrate, refocus, renew, and most importantly to get reacquainted with yourself.
Who are you? Not based on someone else in your life but who are YOU? You as a person. What do you like? What do you want to do? What is your purpose? Your dreams? Your goals? Your hobbies? What inspires you? Motivates you? What are things you’ve always wanted to see, or do, or learn but never had the time or ability to do until now? So many of us get caught up in every day life as a spouse/partner, a parent, a son/daughter, a friend, an employee, and spend so much of our time and energy being everything to everyone else that frequently we lose who we are in the shuffle and then when life shifts, as it will inevitably do, we don’t know who we are deep down or what to do with ourselves now.
Maybe that’s some of the purpose in this time, this moment of your life. Maybe right now your journey is about you. Maybe it’s about being kinder to yourself, about giving yourself the same kind of love, time, effort, and energy that you have always given to others. Maybe it’s about finding new ways to help others while helping yourself, finding your dreams, and living your best life and future.
Sometimes you just need a break from the world. Sometimes you need time for yourself in solitude to decompress, to recharge, to reflect, to think about your life-where you’re at, where you’re going, and what you need to do to get there. Maybe what you need most is some time for yourself to clear your heart and mind.
Don’t be afraid to be alone. Use this time to sort yourself out, to discover yourself and what you want out of life. Learn to rely on yourself for your own happiness and comfort. Dream and work towards a future where your goals only rely on you to achieve them. Do things that you enjoy doing and don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and do them by yourself. Go walk the beach and enjoy the feel of the sand between your toes or the beauty of the sunset. Go to your favorite coffee shop with your favorite book and enjoy an afternoon of sipping your favorite beverage while reading your book and people watching. Go to the movies. Try that restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to. Go for walks. Read good books. Find a hobby you enjoy. Meditate. Learn a new language. Take a class at the local college. Join a local gym. Get in shape. Write that book you’ve always wanted to write. Relocate. Create. Explore new things and locations. Expand your knowledge. Build your empire. Start whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to start for so long. Do you. Be happy, dream big, and work hard toward your goals.
Take advantage of being alone by using this time to focus more on you and your personal growth and what makes you happy and makes your soul feel at peace. Be on a journey of finding out who you really are and what you really want in life. Take your time and explore. Keep wandering and discovering yourself. This is your moment in time and the beginning to the rest of your life. When you trust the journey and focus on the positive life can be a beautiful adventure.
So here’s to moving forward. Here’s to learning to loving your alone time. Here’s to loving who you are becoming. I wish you all the best in your journey of finding yourself!
